The Struggles of Finding a Career

When you don’t want “just a job”

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and I change my mind about it almost daily. I’m 25 now so I feel like I’ve had some time to think about it. I’ve gone through 4 years of college to try and help me decide, but here I am, clueless. The unknown scares me. It’s like being in open waters with no land in sight.

What I don’t know

I often wonder if what I do outside of a job matters more than the job itself. Should my job have meaning? Or should it just pay the bills? This questions come up so often that it drives me crazy. My job situation is currently in limbo. I have a potential job opportunity with a digital marketing agency. I could definitely do this. I have some of those skills, and I’ve taken courses to fill the gaps, but what if I don’t like it in the end? I hear no one completely loves every aspect of their job, and that’s fine. It’s just also really sad. Is that my destiny? To be mostly content but always a little bit unhappy with work? I don’t know.

What I do know

I don’t know much, but what I do know is I have a lot of hobbies outside of work. I like to paint, read, write, draw on my iPad, and watch old episodes of early 2000s medical shows (I’m looking at you, House and Grey’s Anatomy)It took me almost 3 years to find meaning outside of work and school, but I found it. I may not be completely able to differentiate my own self-worth from my job, but I’m trying.

What the future holds

The future cannot be foretold, but I sure wish it could. I wish I could have a hint about what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel lost but maybe every 20 something feels this way. The only thing I know for sure is that there is a future and I want to be in it.

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